The Anglicanorum Coetibus Society Congratulates Itself

I've noted here before that enthusiastic members of the North American ordinariate occasionally visit other ordinariate parishes and congratulate them on the Ship of Fools Mystery Worshipper pages. As I said in the link from last spring, this defeats the purpose of the whole project, since it's supposed to be a blinded exercise in which someone encounters a new experience and gives an unbiased critique. In these cases, people in the parish know the reviewer, who is guaranteed to say nice things or risk shunning.

A visitor sent me links to two new reviews of the non-blinded sort, one of the mass the evening before the Toronto conference this past Saturday and one of the following Sunday's mass at St Thomas More. Both were from someone styling themself as Roving Ordinaut, which is an indication from the start that this will not be unbiased, and in fact one doesn't need to have been a homicide detective for 20 years to suss out who it's likely to be. The snobbish pedantry and preening self-promotion behind both reviews gives the game away.

(As a true crime buff, I really like the live police shows where the cop says something like, "I get off at ten. Would you like to keep lying to me until then?")

Here are some of the entries for the Friday evening mass:

How full was the building?

A bit less than half full.

Which is another way of saying a bit more than half empty. And keep in mind, this was a Solemn High Mass and Te Deum of Thanksgiving (Votive of the Holy Spirit) to commemorate the tenth anniversary of Anglicanorum coetibus.

What musical instruments were played?

The cathedral organ, opus 3907 of Casavant Frères, Saint-Hyacinthe, Quebec, dating from 2014. The old organ, an opus of S.R. Warren and Sons of Montreal and Toronto, had become mechanically unreliable and ultimately unplayable. It was carefully dismantled and stored for future rebuilding.

Did anything distract you?

The gentleman in the pew in front of me was wearing ill-fitting jeans that appeared to have been pulled out of a garage grease pit. While I'm sure Our Lord doesn't expect all worshippers at mass to be wearing their Sunday best, especially at a Friday evening mass, I'll remember this man and hope that the wedding garment of his soul is better prepared to stand before Jesus when he comes in glory than those inglorious oil-soaked jeans.

Well, I dunno, i bet the rich man on whose doorstep Lazarus lay with the dogs licking his sores had quite a nice wedding garment himself, huh? All summer and autumn we've had these readings from Luke, and it sounds like our Roving Ordinaut has been too busy fussing with being Anglican to pay much attention to them. (Also see below)

Let's move to the Sunday mass at St Thomas More.

What musical instruments were played?

The Casavant organ, Opus 1462 (1932).

Did anything distract you?

The church is a large space, and when only one-third full, it has an unfortunate reverberation that made the homily difficult to hear over young children who were heard but not seen from my seat in the sixth row. But I do want to be clear that I am fully in favor of children being present, and would prefer to be distracted by them than for them not to become accustomed at an early age to attending mass every Sunday.

Was the worship stiff-upper-lip, happy clappy, or what?

A dignified but approachable mass in the traditional language of the English Prayer Book. While the Kyrie and Gloria were sung to the Missa de Angelis, the remainder of the ordinary, including the Creed, was sung to the Merbecke setting in the hymnal. We sang ‘All creatures of our God’ (Laßt uns erfreuen) at the offertory, ‘Author of life divine’ (Rhosymedre) after communion, and ‘Lord of beauty’ (Regent Square) at the recessional.

Whenever I think of the Roving Ordinaut, I go way back. Way, way back.

Both those masses sound as though they were very, very tasteful.

UPDATE: A visitor reacts:

I am reminded of two stories/jokes. It seems that there was this old Texas cowboy who came to church dressed in clean faded blue jeans, clean faded shirt, a tattered hat, boots and bible. When this old cowboy entered the church nobody would make room for him to sit. He stood at the back of the church. When the service was over, the minster/priest and deacon came up to the man and said that this was a house of God and that he should have a talk with God as to how he should dress for church. The cowboy left and returned the following week dressed the same way. Again, nobody would make room for him to sit. At the end of the service the minster/priest and deacon again came up to the man and asked if he had a talk with God about how to dress. The cowboy responded that he did in fact have a talk with God about how to dress, but God said that He didn't know how to dress at that church as He had never been there. You can pick the denomination.