Isn't Reconciliation A Two-Way Street?

I remember a Dilbert comic strip in which a group of managers is inadvertently locked in a conference room after hours. They realize they need to get an outside line to call for help, but they can't remember the number to dial to get the outside line -- half think it's 9; the other half think it's 8. They argue about this for some time, but then they decide to compromise and use 8.5. Eventually they starve to death because the phone system won't take decimals.

Every once in a while I get an e-mail from someone who wonders why the groups at St Mary of the Angels can't work out some sort of deal. This extends to Stephen Smuts's recent characterization of this blog as "one sided". But wait -- wasn't St Augustine a one-sided curmudgeon over the Arians? You can't split the difference over whether 2+2=4 or 5.

That's one part of the problem. But assuming something could be worked out, it's also worth looking at the circumstances surrounding the current siege:

• The original temporary restraining order of May 2012, dissolved by the judge two weeks later, allowed the dissidents to identify 25 "John Does" whom they could keep off the property at their discretion. While there's no longer a legal basis for this exclusion, this attitude remains, and the dissidents have continued to call police if anyone in a large group of people they don't approve of approaches the property.
• The dissidents, working through Anthony Morello and Stephen Strawn, excommunicated by letter at least nine parishioners, a remarkable number in any context.
• In addition to those formally excommunicated, a much larger number was excluded from the February 2013 parish annual meeting simply by not being listed as an approved attendee.
• I never received a letter of excommunication, although that doesn't mean I haven't been excommunicated, and I had no appetite for testing whether I'd be admitted to the annual meeting. But part of the problem here is that, although I'm not a member of the primary out-group, I don't want to risk the anger and threats of violence that might take place if I took it upon myself to make any approach to the dissidents.
• The dissident party, led by Mrs Bush, has repeatedly refused any attempts at mediation or negotiation via attorneys or other qualified third parties, despite the judge's urging to do so. The ACA has also refused to meet with Msgr Steenson.

Reconciliation does require two parties. There are some differences you can't split. How do we fix this? Let half the excluded group back in? Half the excommunicated vestry/

It says a great deal about Bishop Marsh, the putative adult in charge from the ACA's side, that he seems to have a hands-off approach to the whole situation. He has a responsibility to foster an atmosphere of reconciliation, and to educate people like Mrs Bush on the limits of acceptable behavior. He has a great deal to answer for, and it's certain that he'll one day answer for it.